Even Brady Quinn's Dashing Good Looks Can't Save Cleveland Browns

(Actually posted by Anthony Masterson, but there was a formatting issue because, apparently, Blogger doesn't like Italians.)

Many NFL prognosticators were shocked (SHOCKED!) that a once-in-a-generation talent such as Brady Quinn could fall as low as number 22 back in the 2007 draft.

It wasn't just his War-and-Peace-esque list of accomplishments on the football field such as.......

Ok, I've got nothing. He ALMOST beat USC that one time. That was cool, right?

If nothing else, you KNOW that he got more tail than you or I, which has to count for something (it worked for Matt Leinart.)

Nevermind that he was probably the most overrated quarterback on the most overrated team in college football year in and year out, but dammit he had that charisma, that leadership skill, that innate ability to make homophobic slurs while drunk at a bar and still hold high regard in the arena of public opinion.

But you can bet your Touchdown Jesus bobblehead that he was just destined to make those teams that passed on him pay.

As that sniveling, little weasel Secretary of State from Independence Day would say, "that is not, en-tirely accurate."

With Derek Anderson too white (see, scrappy) to lead the Browns under Eric Man-genius (pause for laughter), Quinn was handed the reins to begin the '09 campaign.

But unlike his MyoPlex commercials in which Quinn blasts his way through tackling dummies in an apocalyptically desolate landscape (Eastern Wyoming?), Quinn's work has left the Dawg Pound feeling like they must have stumbled upon Michael Vick's ranch.

As it stands right now, Quinn is now currently the beleaguered leader of a team who has mustered just 29 points in his team's first three games with only nine of those points coming in the last two weeks.

And this time, he can't even blame the fact that A.J. Hawk is banging his sister.

With only 219 yards of TOTAL offense per game, Quinn was benched at halftime of their latest embarrassing loss to a divisional opponent in favor of Anderson (who scrapped and gamer-ed his way to 3 picks in the second half.)

Though a charter member of the Cleveland Sports Figure Dreamboat Hall of Fame with Grady Sizemore as Board President and LeBron James as Sergeant at Arms, Quinn first has to realize that occasionally talent has to come into play in order to be successful at the game of football.

I mean, not everybody can be Kyle Orton.

Though Mangini has not named his starter for next week, you can bet Quinn will get the benefit of the doubt or else Mangini will fine him $3,982 for hanging the toilet paper in the clubhouse in the improper overhand fashion. The Browns have a legitimate shot to challenge the Detroit Lions for historical single-season futility, and for this team, any publicity is good publicity.

Now he's done.