Report: Brett Favre Allegedly Farted

In what could be one of the biggest stories of the new millenium, our very own Dick Johnson has received word from an undisclosed source, saying Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has allegedly farted.

Dick Johnson's Deeply Penetrative Reports: The 5-0 Denver Broncos

These days NFL teams are becoming more and more secretive. Players respond in cliches and neutralities. Coaches provide disingenuous injury reports. Reporters are stonewalled from locker rooms. Peter King doesn't get responses to his text messages. At these times, when even the most in-depth reporting can't uncover the story, Punting on First Down turns to the hardest-hitting, most deeply penetrating investigative journalist in the business--Dick Johnson.

This week: the secret to the Broncos early season success...