Report: Brett Favre Allegedly Farted

In what could be one of the biggest stories of the new millenium, our very own Dick Johnson has received word from an undisclosed source, saying Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has allegedly farted.

Dick Johnson's Saturday Six: The Least Inventive Scuttlebutt in All of Sports

When Dick Johnson isn't penetrating deeply into the NFL's most taciturn stories, he is working the phone, talking to sources, and uncovering yet-to-be released stories--the stories Adam Schefter has wet dreams about uncovering. We don't even call them rumors, because we know Dick Johnson is that good. If you wanted to hear it first, you've come to the right place.

Elizabeth Lambert Suspected to be the First Woman to Play in The NFL

University of New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert released a statement today with a formal apology for her actions taken during the BYU game played on November 5th.  Shortly after she made this apology she surprisingly announced that she would not be finishing her scholastic career at NMU and has instead decided to place herself into the 2010 NFL draft.

Hunter Smith vs. Jason Campbell

First, I would like to thank the committee for selecting me to be a part of this brilliant piece of literary genius known as Punting on First Down.  The heads of the committee have given me the amazing opportunity to speak my mind with the one golden rule,  "The only condition is you aren't allowed to write just about the Redskins" (EP via text message).  

With that said, lets talk about the tears seen this weekend in Bronco country.  The stage is set, 4th and 20 on the Denver 35 yard line.  Redskins punter Hunter Smith seems to be dropping back into shotgun formation?  Hmm... interesting... Eight seconds later Mike Sellers comes down with a 35 yard TD pass.  Wait I think I blacked out for a moment.  What the hell just happened?  I look to my right and see tears rolling down the face of a man wearing a John Elway jersey.  Then it all clicks.... "Now starting at quarterback for the Washington Redskins Hunttteeeerrrr Smithhhh!"  This must be Jim Zorn's secret weapon.  Finally Redskins fans have been waiting for this moment.  Knowing Dan Snyder's extremely high level of intelligence, last night he probably already drew up the contracts to sign Mr. Smith to a 6 year 100 million dollar deal.  

After a slow start at 3-6, Redskins Nation was logging onto ESPN checking the standings and remaining schedule thinking, "playoffs?"  Lets face it folks, it was a lucky win in which the Redskins beat a backup quarterback who has not been taking the reps in practice.  Not going to say I did not enjoy it, but lets keep ourselves holstered.  Jim Zorn and Dan Snyder must remain in the dog house.  Remember the amount of harassment Skins fans took after losing to The Lions and The Chiefs?  Yeah, that was this season.  Let's see them beat the Cowboys and then we can start dreaming.

Rams Find New QB in Unexpected Place

 

     During an emotional win over the Detroit Lions on Sunday, the St. Louis Rams may have discovered a franchise quarterback.

     With Mark Bulger performing below expectations, the Rams were in search a a quarterback who could lead their team to victory and they may have found one known more for his leg than his arm.

Bills Try No-huddle Defense and Special Teams

(Image from of ESPN)

If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

Sources close to the Buffalo Bills organization say the Bills will expand their use of the no-huddle to the defense and special teams.

Dungy Convinced Olbermann-Patrick Duo May Have More Than Just On-screen Chemistry

      The cameras don't always tell the truth.

      In a candid interview with the Northeast Hoboken Plain Dealer on Tuesday, former Indianapolis Colts head coach, and current NBC broadcaster, Tony Dungy revealed that he is suspicious about the nature of co-stars Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann's relationship.

     "I don't want to go so far as 'faggy,'" said Dungy. "But I will say 'deviant' or possibly 'curious.'"