Bills Try No-huddle Defense and Special Teams

(Image from of ESPN)

If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

Sources close to the Buffalo Bills organization say the Bills will expand their use of the no-huddle to the defense and special teams.

After a successful early season stint using the no-huddle offense, a near win against New England and convincing win over Tampa Bay, the Bills have stagnated, going 1-3. Scouts around the league have suggested this is due to the league becoming accustomed to the no-huddle attack, which removes it of its essential surprise factor.

To compensate, the Bills have moved the no-huddle to the other two phases of the game.

Beginning this Sunday, middle linebacker and defensive leader, Paul Posluszny, will be calling plays for the defensive team--a responsibility for which Posluszny isn't yet entirely prepared.

"What?" said Posluzny. "Why would we do that?"

On the other hand, the team has plenty of time to prepare.

"At least you told us now," Posluszny said. "Coach [Dick] Jauron usually doesn't tell us the gameplan until ten minutes before the game. This time we'll have a couple hours to prepare."

Though the players lack confidence in the new scheme, the coaching staff appears quite assured.

"We're entering an entirely new age with our no-huddle attack," said Jauron. "Our opponents will be set off guard, allowing us to exploit their inevitable mistakes."

When asked how a no-huddle defense would make any difference, since the offense is in charge of snapping the ball and, therefore, the rhythm of the game, Jauron was dismissive.

"Who the fuck are you?" said Jauron. "I went to Yale. Where'd you got to school? University of Colorado? I win."

Other members of the coaching staff were similarly impassioned.

"This is fucking awesome," said defensive coordinator Perry Fewell. "I get a six-figure salary and I don't have to do shit. Boom, baby."

The defense is not the only aspect of the Bills being revamped, they have also implemented new, no-huddle schemes on special teams. Sources say they have even created a sort of wildcat scheme for their special teams.

"I don't want to get in to anything yet," said Jauron. "Just wait and see. It'll blow your mind."

Punting on First Down corespondent Anthony Masterson is reporting that the scheme may use both a kicker and punter lining up in the same formation, so that the opponent will not know if they plan on kicking or punting. Needless to say, this would be entirely unique in the copycat NFL.

POFD contacted the Bills star running back, Marshawn Lynch, to see his opinion on the situation.

"what dat? bills gone go all no-huddle up in dat d and special teams ass? beast mode gone fast like a nass car! beeeeast mooooode! nuh nuh nuh... gone."

It appears Lynch, much like the rest of the NFL, is confused.