Punting on First Down presents a sort of live web log of the NFL action on most Sundays. At least the ones on which I have internet access and I don't have to work. So probably not every week but from time to time.
Thank the Lord it is football day.
Let's Party...
This week, we'll give the semi-live blogging a shot in the comments. I figure it'll make things easier, and some of the other POFD writers can join in on the action. See you in the comments...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
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NFL Redzone Channel, you dirty tease, you. You only gave me one, tantalizing, three hour session last weekend then never called. Now I must choose between Joe Buck ruining the Cowboys and Chiefs game or the Ravens and Bengals bore. I can't believe you one day standed me, NFL Redzone Channel. And now you say I have to pay for it. Well, I don't pay for it. Never have. Never will.
ReplyDeleteI just read Todd Haley's lips:
ReplyDelete"I'm the fucking boss! That cowboy faggot fumbled MY football. Give me MY god damn football right now or I will take off my letter jacket and it fucking fag drag time!"
Does anyone else feel like Wade Phillips fits perfectly that stereotype of the old southern landowner that has one of those wheel fans you wave yourself and says "have mercy!" every other sentence?
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ReplyDeleteThe Chiefs are trying to attack America's Team! Terrorism? Yes. Sedition? Yes. Treason? Maybe. Maybe? Yes.
ReplyDeleteLarry Johnson is averaging only ONE stripper beaten per yard -- a career low.
ReplyDeleteThe flea flicker is on page fifteen? Fuck that. I'm going to invent a flea flicker driven offense. The West Coast Offense is dead.
ReplyDeleteFox needs to stop having Aikman color Cowboys games. He gushes over them constantly. "That was an interception of CHAMPIONS by Tony Romo."
ReplyDeleteThe ref is hurt! We have to check his status. This is going to screw my referee fantasy team. I knew he was questionable before the game but Adam Schefter reported that he would be active.
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to do a study. I think the last two (maybe three) seasons at least 60% of all passing yards are gained on hook routes. Not for long! I'll soon blitzkrieg the NFL and 90% of all passing yards will be on flea flickers.
ReplyDeleteThe Raiders are already losing by 14. Worst sports franchise in sports? Yes. Maybe? No.
ReplyDeleteReaction by CBS color man to McNabb's long TD pass:
ReplyDelete"That was a throw!"
Yes, that was, in fact, a throw. But aren't all TD passes "a throw?"
Is it still Breast Cancer Awareness week? ("Breast awareness" if you're Berman) Or does Marvin Lewis just really like his pink-billed cap?
ReplyDeleteForgot to put in the Berman link:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWmB-SJElqM
Pick six for Ed Reed. He must be a daywalker who glamors quarterbacks into throwing to him. That, or he has some sort of football magnet on each of his gloves.
ReplyDeleteJesus, the Giants got another TD. The Raiders are so bad they probably couldn't beat SW Delaware State Poly Tech Institute of Technology Online @ Dover.
ReplyDelete"The ball was sort of behind him but he makes chicken salad!" Uhh... He made a bunch of chicken salad and created some emotional steam for his team!
ReplyDeleteMost of these NFL telecasts are showing surprisingly few breasts for Breast Cancer Awareness week.
ReplyDeleteGood play call, Ravens. Draw plays on third and long work really well. Ask Mike Shanahan.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's 28-0 Giants. Go Raiders.
ReplyDeleteAnother penalty for the Cowboys and they're losing to the Chiefs. Wade Phillips: "Have mercy! I do declare."
ReplyDeleteMiles Austin is wearing a fanny pack! Tubular!
ReplyDeleteWell, the Raiders scored a touchdown. Of course they had to get it on a fumble recovery giving them the ball on the Giants' 1, with a bonus twenty downs to get that one yard.
ReplyDeleteRemember Joe Buck's late night talk show? That was quite entertaining. He's almost as good as Jay Leno.
ReplyDeleteHalf time break. Check ya'll in a bit.
ReplyDeleteI was almost positive that the Bills acquired TO in the offseason to improve their offense. Call me nuts, but I think a few Buffalo-ians might be second-guessing that decision now. 3 points? Nearing the 4th quarter? Against the frickin' Browns? Don Beebe could out-scrap these guys in a heartbeat.
ReplyDeleteWhy do they keep giving Seth McFarlane shows on Fox? Family Guy wasn't funny, so they gave him American Dad. American Dad really wasn't funny, so they gave him the Cleveland show. I'm just going to assume that's not funny either.
ReplyDeleteDick Jauron might have just picked up TO to make some noise so that people don't see how awful he is at coaching.
ReplyDeleteWoo! Bud Light Golden Wheat! Bud is practically a micro brew. Does that mean they can start charging 16 bucks for a 12 pack of their shitty beer?
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ReplyDeleteWow. If Daunte Culpepper isn't the worst quarterback in football, speak now or forever hold your peace. (Put your hand down, Jamarcus). Culpepper fields a good snap, fumbles it off his own kneecaps, picks it up, spins and throws a duck-fart pass right into the arms of a Pittsburgh defensive back. It's sad when the DB from the other team nearly drops the pass out of pity.
ReplyDeleteThe Rams have 18 fewer yards right now than the Vikings do... and 28 fewer points. I think we can officially call bullshit on that crazy myth about how turnovers are important.
ReplyDeleteThe CBS announcers just compared Rashard Mendenhall to Walter Payton. Yes, the same Walter Payton who compiled 16,726 rushing yards in his illustrious career with 110 touchdowns. Rashard Mendenhall currently has 268 career rushing yards with 2 touchdowns, and was previously benched by his head coach for 1) being a dumbass and 2) not even knowing the basic plays of his own playbook (that he's been in possession of for two years.)
ReplyDeleteI know hyperbole is fun, but let's temper that shit for a little while.
Gus Johnson needs new pants.
ReplyDeleteWow. Marion Barber Double Jr really is a closer. That was a gritty run in the fourth quarter to move the chains. What does he have now 15 saves on the year?
ReplyDeleteWade Phillips: "I do declare that was not a helmet to helmet hit. Have mercy!"
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Billy Bob Thornton's character in Varsity Blues was based on Todd Haley, using some kind of time machine.
ReplyDeleteOkay great. Miles Austin scored a long TD with 2 minutes left to give the Chiefs a lead. Now every NFL show for the next week is going to talk about how the Cowboys are back, Tony Romo is a great quarterback, and that Miles Austin is one of the breakout wide receivers in the NFL. No. The Cowboys played pretty shitty all game. Tony Romo still sucks. And Miles Austin had a good game, partly because Romo has nobody else worthwhile to throw to. Damn you, Cowboys.
ReplyDeleteRavens D implodes down the stretch, letting Carson Palmer drive 80 yards in the last minute and a half for the winning score. Are the Bengals really 4-1? I think Roger Goodell needs to step in and do something about that.
ReplyDeleteMike Sims-Walker got scratched for the Jags for violating team rules. Could he have perhaps violated the team rule that players are only allowed to have two feet?
ReplyDeleteDerek Anderson was 2/17 for 23 yards today. Even Jamarcus Russell is unimpressed.
ReplyDeleteThe Browns beat the Bills... 6-3... And people in Buffalo paid to watch it, some people probably up to $20. Was Ken Burns 600-part documentary on? Was a Judd Apatow movie on? Was there anything on slightly less boring than that game for the poor people subject to that broadcast?
ReplyDeleteWillis McGahee had one carry for -2 yards today, after scoring at least one TD and getting a fair portion of touches in the previous four weeks. Ray Rice, meanwhile, gained 143 total yards and scored a TD. John Harbaugh is a dick. Next week Ray Rice will have 1 carry for 5 yards, McGahee will have 10 carries for 20 yards (because he sucks) and 4 TDs, and Le'Ron McClain will have 150 total yards or something. Harbaugh's kid must be addicted to fantasy and, therefore, never spends any time with his father. You don't have to take it out on us, Mr. Harbaugh you jackass.
ReplyDeleteNow it's Broncos time. I preemptively apologize for rampant homerism...
ReplyDeleteI love the old timey replica jersey thing the NFL is doing a lot of. It's quite refreshing. But the Broncos unis today look like a Steeler ate their jersey and crapped it out into the 1920s and then a football team proceeded to that big pile of crap on the field.
ReplyDeleteJulian Edelman:
ReplyDelete"Oh gwosh... this cold is tayyyy-rible. Coach Belicheck, could I put on a coat? This cold weather gives me gas."
I make no apologies for my rampant homerism.
ReplyDeleteIf my calculations are correct, and they always are, Tom Brady and Wes Welker are the most adorable white couple since Michael Jackson and Liza Minelli. It's almost as if they can finish each other's...
ReplyDeleteSandwiches. The correct answer was sandwiches.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see 2012. I just wish I would've listened.
ReplyDeleteWow. It's official. Tom Brady forgot how to throw the deep ball to Randy Moss. That or Randy Moss has found a new way to mail-it-in that is undetectable on cameras.
ReplyDeleteThis fall... From the director of Universal Soldier, Independence Day, Godzilla, and the Day After Tomorrow... Basically he's the greatest director of all time... Comes another epic adventure about how we didn't listen... 2012... With more explosions than both Trasnformers movies combined... In a theater near you...
ReplyDeleteThe Broncos pass rush-less defense is an interesting strategy. Can McDaniels somehow outsmart Belichick with it?
ReplyDeleteMcDaniels has instituted far less AIDS in his gameplan this week and the Broncos aren't playing as well. Coincidence?
ReplyDeleteJosh McDaniels must be missing the days when referees just gave his team completions when video evidence clearly points to the contrary. Oh, memories...
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, Eddie Royal. Possibly buoyed by Kyle Orton's now-naked throwing hand, Royal now has 4 receptions for 46 yards, basically quadrupling his output in the team's previous four games.
ReplyDeleteThe Neckbeard looks more like the Goateebeard today. It is quite disconcerting.
ReplyDeleteThrough some Quantum Leap-style time transplant, the 2008 Broncos defense made a cameo at the end of the first half of today's game. Speaking of Scott Bakula....who else wants to see that new show Men of a Certain Age? I assume it's just going to be one prolonged joke about erectile dysfunction, not unlike a conversation with Rafael Palmeiro.
ReplyDeleteMy god, the refs just called roughing the passer on the Broncos. And the second half hasn't started yet. Poor Tom Brady needs protection. He has such a tough life.
ReplyDelete