Punting on First Down presents a sort of live web log of the NFL action on most Sundays. At least the ones on which I have internet access and I don't have to work. So probably not every week but from time to time.
It's Monday Night Motherfuckin' Football time. Let's Party.
Let's open thread this shit...
Monday, October 19, 2009
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Awwwww sheeeit. The Broncos and Chargers just got into it during warm ups. Some suckas musta got served. And guess who was breaking up the fight... Shawne Merriman. No joke. That is the first time in his life in which he was not the instigator but negotiator. Then probably five minutes later he negotiated with Tila Tequila's throat. Negotiations were a failure.
ReplyDeleteGruden and Jaws football boners are just becoming erect. After touching themselves watching 700 hours of film this week, they finally made it out to the titty bar that is this game.
ReplyDeleteYeah right, Berman. You don't go to Applebees for the 2 for 20 deal. You go there to hit on 25 year old waitresses.
ReplyDeleteOoh Transformers! Last night I watched the new one with the same attitude I have when driving by an accident: it's going to be horrible and I'll regret it but I just have to look. I made as far as the part where Shia Lebeououeff said the following to Megan Fox: "You're like the best thing that has ever happened to me." And that was enough Transformers: Revenge of Michael Bay for me.
ReplyDeleteAre all of Hank Williams the 45th's friends rowdy or does he have at least one who is calm?
ReplyDeleteJon Gruden totally wanted to punch Tirico after that comment about his wife punishing him. Silly Tirico, "WOMEN DON'T PUNISH ME I PUNISH WOMEN! AHHHH! FOOTBALL! MY THREE KIDS ARE PLAYERS! THEY PLAY FOOTBALL! AHHHH!" Gruden always looks like he is uncomfortable with his own face.
ReplyDeletePhilip Rivers, not Jake Delhomme, leads the league in grit! And he's fourth in toughness. But only second in grittiness per passing attempt.
ReplyDeleteThere's no melody in Hank Williams voice. Is he, perchance, rapping?
ReplyDeleteThe Chargers have two white starting safeties tonight. They must be real gamers!
ReplyDelete"They call him M80 because he can explode in your face if you aren't careful." That's what she said!!! Whooo! Ding! Ding! Ding! Joke of the year alert!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of race, could Tiny Darren Sproles become the first black jockey? It's worth a shot.
ReplyDeleteThere should be a horror movie about making more Saw movies. That would really scare the crap out of a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteOne was probably too many, let alone six.
ReplyDeleteWhat a drive led by the Neckbeard there! 93 yards in one play! And he led it from the sideline!
ReplyDeleteMcDaniels, the Belichick disciple, shows emotion. Bill Belichick showed emotion once in 1987. He then killed everyone in the room so there would be no witnesses.
ReplyDeleteJosh McDaniels, whisperer of sweet nothings. Charmed the pants of Eddie Royal for sure.
ReplyDeleteNate Kaeding is some kind of crazy alien from a planet of kicking aliens. Look at his head. It's ninety percent of his body weight. I wonder if he can telekinetically give Bill Pullman a really bad headache.
ReplyDeleteShawne Merriman eats nails for lunch? What does he eat for dinner? Knives? Maybe the sharp metal object diet is why he gets injured all the time.
ReplyDeleteThe Norv Turner all-screen offense really fits Philip Rivers' majestic float.
ReplyDeleteWow look like the Broncos just got their emotional steam back! With the help of an offensive line that communicates non verbally. All five of them have never seen a mirror and are therefore unaware of the self/other split and they see know barrier between each other. They are one. Just like Neckbeard and bottles of Jack Daniels.
ReplyDeleteDumervil gave them even more emotional steam. What's that you say, Gruden? He is a player who plays football big time? FOOTBALL!!!
ReplyDeleteRun, Neckbeard, run! Look at that 4.3 time. He could play corner.
ReplyDelete"I saw that one from up here... on a TV that I am watching that has a convenient up close angle on that specific play"
ReplyDeleteMatt Ryan - great quarterback, face of a franchise. Also he is well shorn.
ReplyDeleteUrban Meyer just did the exploding fist bump. Shit.
ReplyDeleteJon Gruden drafted Michael Clayton because of his EFFORT, not because he was any good at football. Because he certainly sucks a football. But talk about EFFORT!
ReplyDeleteWhy do all NFL coaches hide their mouths with their play charts? Does Norv Turner have crazy laser vision so he can see what McDaniels across the field? Even then how would he know the terminology and verbiage of the offense?
ReplyDeleteUnless Uncle Norv is some kind of alien like Nate Kaeding! My God!!!! The Chargers are aliens! It's all so obvious now.
ReplyDeletePhilip Rivers just isn't the same without his Cutler to yell at. Who would yell at Orton? His neutral in every way. Unless Orton bangs a lot of chicks out of wedlock, because there is nothing Rivers hates more.
ReplyDeletePhilip Rivers also throws like a fourteen year old girl.
ReplyDeleteAlrighty. This game is over. Go Broncos. Kyle Orton gets no respect. That's a good ending. See you in a week.
ReplyDelete