Punting on First Down presents a sort of live web log of the NFL action on most Sundays. At least the ones on which I have internet access and I don't have to work. So probably not every week but from time to time.Here we are st First Church of Football's new home: Sunday Night Collinsworth Smugfest. I've been waiting all day (not really). Have you?
Let's party...
Bud Light... the difference is that you can get it down your throat without choking to death. Catchy right?
ReplyDeleteMarcus Spears... Louisiana State
ReplyDeleteJay Ratliff... Auburn
Igor Olshanksy... In Soviet Russia, school goes to you!
Collinsworth: "Well, it's pretty obvious to all you idiots out there, but on an option route in flat zone coverage you should look for a slant or go route. Dumbass."
ReplyDeleteMcNabb think run for one yard loss gooder than throw out of bounds. Am right.
ReplyDeleteWhy is there a scotsman running around whipping people and telling them to think with their dipstick? Ohhhhhh it's for Castrol oil. THAT makes sense.
ReplyDeleteMcNabb is pretty damn good at throwing balls at the ground. Andy Reid needs to work on some bounce plays for this offense.
ReplyDeleteHell of a catch by LeJason McAvant.
ReplyDeleteHeee heee McNabb almost got sack. Him smile so dat it all okay.
ReplyDeleteWestbrook is inactive tonight with a bruised ego. And vagina.
ReplyDeletePhilly crowd: "Wait, something happened that didn't benefit us? Fuck you, ref! You're blind! It's all your fucking fault! What's that you say? It's an extra point? They fucking cheated! It was way too close to the goal line! Fucking refs."
ReplyDeleteJim Johnson... Amazing defensive coordinator and incredibly not ginger, unlike their new d coord.
ReplyDeleteNinja Assasin... lots of crazy shit happens with special effects so you can't see how retarded it is. From the creators of Transformers and 300 and Michael Bay.
ReplyDeleteWhite guy sack! White guy sack!!!!!
ReplyDelete2012... We Were Warned... FUCK YES! You can warn me 8000 times and I will never listen if it means more Roland Emmerich movies. By the way, it's about Universal Soldier 2 time.
ReplyDeleteWade Phillips: "Have mercy, refs. I do declare that was not pass interference."
ReplyDeleteMichael Vick - signed to sell jerseys and tickets? Michael Vick signed to sell jerseys and tickets.
ReplyDelete"What did he say when he first got the job? Andy Reid went over to Mcdonald's and" ate the entire fucking building? Is that what you were getting at, Mr. Collinsworth?
ReplyDeleteWow, nice Mcnabb impression by Tony Romo. He threw that into the ground ten yards in front of his receiver just like McNabb. Maybe he's the next Frank Caliendo.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid totally psyched out Folk. Those are an intimidating 2 feet he has to kick the ball.
ReplyDeleteBest screening team... Brian Westbrook is a marvelous actor... Oh, Collinsworth, you're the nest Shakespeare, you are.
ReplyDeleteCollinsworth calls them Philadelphia Cheesesteaks. Just saying. Philly Cheesesteak must be copyright infringement. That, or he's a smug jackass.
ReplyDeleteConsider this party started.
ReplyDeleteJason Garrett turned down a bunch of head coaching jobs to help Tony Romo throw interceptions...
ReplyDeleteOooh, "Asante means "Thank you" in Swahili" says Collinsworth. Cris Collinsworth- Wordsmith, lover, friend.
ReplyDeleteBack when Collinsworth played, you played with broken legs, broken arms and, if you played for the Bengals, broken hearts and broken dreams.
ReplyDeleteThe game isn't worth the future of your mental health. Someone should have told that to Jon Gruden ten years ago.
ReplyDeleteCollinsworth literally just gave a "back in my day" speech about concussions, with the poorly veiled point that Brian Westbrook is a pussy. Hey Collinsworth, while we're pointing out shit that sucks, put the "h" back in your first name, goddammit.
ReplyDeleteHey Matt Dillon! What's goin on, man? Where've you been since......True Romance?
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid's mind: "This would be retarded to challenge but I'll take out the challenge flag to confuse the opponent. Mmmmmmmmm dooooooonuts. What was I thinking? I have the challenge flag in my hand. I better challenge."
ReplyDeleteHow can you false start on an attempt to draw the d offsides? That's a fucking embarrassment. If I were Andy Reid, I'd be shitting a brick. Oh wait, that might actually be happening. If the brick had a little ketchup and mustard on it.
ReplyDeleteAlright, let's just get an Andy Reid fat joke count started. At the moment it's only three.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is so fat... they used his belt to measure the equator!!!! ZING!
ReplyDeleteThat's four.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid's so fat... all the restaurants in Philly say maximum capacity 300 or Andy Reid. HEEEYY OHHHH!!!!
ReplyDelete5
ReplyDelete6
ReplyDeleteWade Phillips: "God damn it. Why can't this team just run itself so that I can drink mint juleps all day?"
ReplyDeleteJerry Jones: "And Arkansas bourbon. Yeeeeee Haw! Go Cowboys!!!!!! Money!!!!!!!!!!"
ReplyDeleteWhat's the deal with the "former New England Patriot" tag that everyone gets? Well, Joe Football played 20 years in obscurity for the Seattle Seahawks but then he got traded to the Patriots where he played for 5 games and retired. Now we can simply refer to him as a "former New England Patriot." That's how Brady this Welkerite Burschi hero is.
ReplyDeleteHey, everyone, Jimmy Football here. And I present to you Fat Tire! It's a beer that isn't awful and undrinkable. Tailgate tested! Tailgate approved!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of things that haven't been funny since 1992......Jay Leno has a new show everybody!
ReplyDeleteJay Leno... Seriously folks, he's still on TV. We have no idea why but he's on TV.
ReplyDeleteIs it just me or is Donovan McNabb trying to out-float Philip Rivers with these fancy-nancy passes tonight?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, there should be a Favre cam in this game. They definitely haven't talked about Brett Favre enough.
ReplyDeleteJinx on the Jay Leno joke
ReplyDeleteHas Andy Reid ever not wanted to challenge? If he could challenge every play, he would.
ReplyDeleteReid could probably convince himself to challenge the coin flip if he thought it would help his team.
ReplyDeleteHa ha John Travolta, you're so charming. I'd take your Pelham 123!
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid challenges the ruling of the challenged play on the field.
ReplyDeleteAnd that Big Macs should cost more than a dollar.
ReplyDeleteSix fat jokes!
ReplyDeleteThe Cowboys Offense - It's a run play, then inside of that run is an incomplete pass, then inside of that incomplete pass it's a penalty, and inside of that penalty is a run play. It's run plays and incomplete passes and penalties and turtles all the way down.
ReplyDeleteWhat an enthusiastic Garrett-Romo chest bump. I'm not sure Romo even knew it was happening until afterwards. That's fucking chemistry!
ReplyDeleteAfter that chest bump, Tony Romo might want to get tested. He now might be a carrier of the dreaded Ginger-vitis.
ReplyDeleteMiles Austin like smiles!!!
ReplyDeleteAnybody else just hear Collinsworth hawk a loogie before the snap with 5:30 left?
ReplyDeleteDid anyone just hear that? I think Al or Cris just hawked a loogie in the booth.
ReplyDeletejinx again
ReplyDeleteDammit, you owe me a Coke.
ReplyDeleteLoser buys the Zima.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's game over. And my girl's here. So see you all next week.
ReplyDelete