Punting on First Down presents a sort of live web log of the NFL action on most Sundays. At least the ones on which I have internet access and I don't have to work. So probably not every week but from time to time.Al and John are having fun on TV, everyone! ZOMG, they are so conversational. I feel like I'm right in the booth. I bet they are BFFs like Dan Dierdorf and Greg Gumbel. They probably do the 2 for $20 deal at Applebees all the time.
Let's Party.
Hunter Hillenmyer... White School for White People.
ReplyDeleteSo I am sitting in the one spot in my house where I apparently can steal internet access. I am going to write a very unhappy letter to Comcast tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteWe'll just get the Andy Reid fat joke count started right now.
ReplyDeleteReid into headset: "Donut right hamburger on three. Then we can take a food break. McDermott, get me some god damn butter!"
And 1...
ReplyDeleteI get it. It's a sex joke!!!! And this condiment gun won't give you superaids! Tailgate approved!
ReplyDeleteHe might just have a heart attack tonight. Vegas is giving 3-1 odds on it.
ReplyDeleteGreg Olsen... Cosmetic School for Brah Haircuts
ReplyDeleteohhhh almost pick number one!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy the fuck is octomom a person of the year? She probably took a fuckload of fertility drugs and had 8 kids. How is that commendable at all?
ReplyDelete15 yard penalty... Andy Reid's gut is in the field of play. (3)
ReplyDeleteCollinsworth: "That's bump-and-run man-to-man coverage with a single high safety..." "for all you idiots that understand what that means, it means that I'm a genius and I am charming and you better listen to me."
ReplyDeleteGod damn xmass commercials already... Let the suicide begin!
ReplyDeleteWhat are you doing this Thanksgiving?
ReplyDeleteOh I'm watching a dog show on NBC.
AWESOME! Can I come?
You know that guy is getting great head tonight after giving her that diamond.
ReplyDeleteDick Johnson told me for away games they rent out a personal jumbo jet just for Andy Reid, due to the weight limit. Its in Andys contract.
ReplyDeleteI like how Andy Reid is wearing a towel to dry all the sweat caused by the tough workout it is for him to stand up. (4)
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, (5).
ReplyDeleteYou missed my jumbo jet comment so 5.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteThey act like Cutler is supposed to lead them through the dessert to freedom.
ReplyDeleteBell should have got in because Cutler is about to throw another pick in the Endzone.
ReplyDeleteCade McNown is still alive? Crazy
ReplyDeleteWow what a lucky Cutler!
ReplyDeleteCutler leads his teams gloriously down the field for a turnover. That's almost like freedom.
ReplyDeleteThat bitch Windows 7 was my idea and she knows it.
ReplyDeleteI think Cutler just picks a person to whom he wants to throw the ball before the play and then just throws it to them no matter how many people are covering that person. He did that last year with the Broncos at least 70% of the time.
ReplyDeleteThat third down conversion was probably Cutler's fault.
ReplyDeleteCant do that with Devin Hester as your number one receiver.
ReplyDeleteCutler with great field position. Lets see what he can do.
ReplyDeleteDamn. McNabb must be trying out some Cutler tactics.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't really do it with Brandon Marshall as his #1 receiver, but he tried.
ReplyDelete3 and out sounds about right.
ReplyDeleteSure, two feet were down, but was that a football move?
ReplyDeleteThey should put Obama in at QB so the fans will stop booing.
ReplyDeleteForte's forte is getting very short gains.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is so fat that the Eagles have to do laps around him every time they drop a pass.
ReplyDeleteUnstoppable? Eli Manning is. Except when he pressure him or very lightly cover his receivers.
ReplyDeleteCutler sneak!
ReplyDeleteAl Michgaels, I'm with you too, bro.
ReplyDeleteHe looks like a sad sacked Cutler.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that band would have found that perfect symbol crash to complete their song without their Blackberry. All you need is love and a Blackberry.
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe Al Michaels called Collinsworth "bro." This point should not be ignored.
ReplyDeleteI miss Billy Mays. He would dominate those tailgating commercials.
ReplyDeleteAnother almost pick from Cutler. Could he possibly survive this game without a pick?
ReplyDeleteI think you've found yourself a catch 22 too, though, Luke. Those tailgating commercials were created because of Mays' death.
ReplyDeleteEvery time a Bears receiver misses a pass they pretend to take this fake thing out of their pocket and throw it. Maybe they are mimicking taking out a handkerchief for Cutlers tears.
ReplyDeleteI know but I still want to see Billy Mays fat bearded face.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of fat. We have not had a Andy Reid fat joke in awhile. Eric I give you the honors.
ReplyDeleteBilly Mays was pretty rad.
ReplyDeleteChrist, I just got here, how many picks does Sulkler have? Come on double digits! Wait, what? None? What the....I thought this was America...
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is so fat... When Pluto was removed from the 9 planets, they made Andy Reid a planet just so they wouldn't have to change all the school books that said there were nine planets.
ReplyDeletePretty lame, I know. But I was put on the spot and had no inspiration.
ReplyDeleteKobe Bryant is still a Person of the Year for NBC? Are you fucking kidding me? How many chicks does a guy gotta rape before he dances himself off any POY list?
ReplyDeleteAnthony can you top that one?
ReplyDelete(5.5)
ReplyDeleteCutler almost completed a past to the ghost of Darrent Williams. Too soon?
ReplyDeleteOooh a sulk montage. I like it.
ReplyDeleteMan, Sir Sulks-a-lot is getting awfully mopey out there on the football field...
ReplyDeleteDarrent Williams jokes. Stamp it! POFD approved
ReplyDeleteI'll give it a shot, Luke...
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is so fat, he's probably going to die earlier than you or I due to the cholesterol clogging the arteries of his heart.
Too real?
I wonder if they say don't drink alcohol in excess with Cialis because they fear a customer will get whiskey dick and never use it again.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching the NFL networka few years back and thinking "this Collinsworth guy is a smug asshole, I hope they don't put him on Sunday Night Football so I'd have to watch him every week."
ReplyDeleteNice try dude. Go google Yo mama fat jokes and change yo mama to Andy Reid. Find me a good one.
ReplyDeleteAlright, fine.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is so fat he had to go to Sea World to get baptized. ZING!
Steven Spielberg! Zing!
ReplyDeleteI would hate to be Collinsworth's psychiatrist. Listening to that crap every week for an hour straight. At least we have football to ease the pain.
ReplyDeleteAnother Sulk montage!!! NBC came to play today...
ReplyDeleteWhat? Cutler must have confused Kellen Davis with one of the Eagles secondary. He was supposed to throw it to Asante Samuel on that play.
ReplyDelete0 interceptions for Cutler? The end is near. We didn't listen!
ReplyDeleteAnybody else think the head ref kinda talks like Tom Brokaw?
ReplyDeleteCollinsworth at his last psychiatrist meeting: "Hyuck hycuk... I had a dream that the Titans were in cover 1 and Justin Gage ran a fly route, but Vince Young checked down to Chris Johnson. Does that make me gay? Yesterday, I was watching footage of Peyton Manning when he was playing college ball at Tennessee and I thought, this guy isn't too short to be a good NFL quarterback."
ReplyDeleteThat could be true, Luke. We have to ask ourselves though, could John Cusack play Jay Cutler in a movie about his life?
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me. I need a beer. And a sandwich. Why don't they package beer and sandwiches? God damn it, case of Pacifico, at least come with a taco or something.
ReplyDeleteJon Gruden here...
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Peyton Manning, THIS GUY is a FOOTBALL PLAYER. I call him "The Sheriff" because THIS GUY is so good at PLAYING THE GAME of FOOTBALL...
I believe we just invented a new segment to our site. The Collinsworth Sessions.
ReplyDeleteSee? This is the conundrum we have. Gruden is so much easier to make fun of. Collinsworth is just a smug prick. But if we change the live blog to monday, won't be on church day. Unless it's some kind of crazy Second Day Adventist Church of Football.
ReplyDeleteWell how good is John Cusack at curling up in a ball and crying himself to sleep every night? Because if he can do that then he has Cutlers life down pat.
ReplyDeleteI mean, have you seen Say Anything? Or Serendipity? Yeah, he'd be fine.
ReplyDeleteWe could all become Jehovah's Witnesses. Do they reserve Sunday to not celebrate Christmas and birthdays?
ReplyDeleteWe could just have the I Hate Gruden Chat Room. We don't even need to talk about football, just rant about Gruden and how much we hate him.
ReplyDeleteSerendipity was a sweet movie.
ReplyDeleteJohn Madden would love that. John Madden loves fat people falling down! But doesn't everybody, really?
ReplyDeleteMadden was the guy who made sure to peg the fat kid in dodgeball games.
ReplyDeleteAnd the fat kid always deserved it...
ReplyDelete"I was like BOOM, I hit that kid like a mack truck"
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is so fat... when he chews gum it causes an earthquake in Japan. (7.5)
ReplyDeleteNice... Way to remember after the fat kid comment.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is so fat.... His family took a picture of him last xmass and its still printing. (8.5)
ReplyDeleteIs spoken word cool now? I don't understand NBCs producers at all.
ReplyDeleteDang, he must be printing it out on a Toshiba printer.
ReplyDeleteNooooo! A first down! Now Cutler won't be able to drive his team all the way to the one to win it and then throwing an interception!
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid wants to challenge the ruling on the field that the Eagles missed a first down by five yards.
ReplyDeleteUh oh! It's Cutler intercepticomeback time.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the over/under on plays before the Sulk Monster tosses a pick? I'm setting it at 5 and taking the under.
ReplyDeleteWow I am going to write Comcast a really angry letter tomorrow. I almost missed talking about Cutler choke time.
ReplyDeleteOnly 52 more seconds for Cutler to throw an interception. We need more time...
ReplyDeleteI found some internet Californee way...
ReplyDeleteI win!
ReplyDeleteYes!!!!! A game-losing pick! Finally!
ReplyDeleteLet the shit show begin!!!
ReplyDeleteOnly Cutler has the flair for drama to wait for the final drive to throw a pick.
ReplyDeleteI don't even think Cutlers Mom will call him tonight to give him comfort after that loss.
ReplyDeleteMcNabb in Cutler's ear: "Just nod a lot and I'm not gonna say anything. Keep nodding. Blah blah blah blah blah. Nod. Nod."
ReplyDeleteYou think Cutler has enough money to find a hooker in Chicago that will still sleep with him?
ReplyDeleteAlright, I think that just about concludes our evening of worship. Any last thoughts, bros (as Al Michaels would say)?
ReplyDeleteYes, on the hooker--AJ Pierzysnki.
ReplyDeleteCutler sucks, Andy Reid is fat, We didn't listen!
ReplyDeleteDeSean Jackson: "I thought, 'me fumble ball? dats unpossible."
ReplyDeleteWell said, Luke.
ReplyDeleteNuke the whales.
ReplyDeleteWhales are jerks. Especially belugas. Alright folks, until next time, party on.
ReplyDelete