Punting on First Down presents a sort-of live weblog of NFL Sunday Night Football. At least enough to poke fun at Cris Collinsworth's eternal smug-ness and Al Michaels' pristine football omnipotence.
Unstoppable? Andy Reid's LDL cholesterol is. His heart, however, is undeniably stoppable, especially with three more years of cheesesteaks on his docket.
Can somebody please tell me why Tiki Barber is on television? Is it because he can't formulate a coherent sentence? Or because he has terrible public speaking skills? Or because he doesn't know when to come back from his cues? Or is it because he's never said anything interesting since that time he told the media that Eli Manning was a terrible leader.
ReplyDeleteI hate that fucking Sprint commercial where that stupid Steelers fan calls other teams to tell them how much their respectives teams suck. I really hope thousands of people have called that bitch to tell her how much it sucks to lose to the Browns, Raiders, and Chiefs in the same season.
ReplyDeleteYes I hate that Sprint commercial as well but love the Troy Polemalu head and shoulders commercials.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how much Faith Hill gets paid to sing the opening ditty for SNF. Actually, it's probably best not to know, in order to avoid going on some sort of Joisey-broad punching rampage...
ReplyDeleteWho makes more money Faith Hill or that country singer for Monday Night Football?
ReplyDeleteRicky Martin.
ReplyDeleteWow. I had a comment ready to go about how pointless Michael Vick is to the Philadelphia Eagles, but that play was pretty goddamn good.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the exact same thing!
ReplyDeleteMust have promised him a puppy.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say about great minds......they both like.....turkey sandwiches?
ReplyDeleteThey were saying it was raining in New York earlier today.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, that's not doing it justice.
I was driving through that shit today, and there was no road at all, just a sheet of ice. I crossed the Trapanzee Bridge, and couldn't even see the bridge in front of me.
For all I know, I accidentally drove onto a ferry, and was taken across.
The Giants need to establish a running game and Brandon Jacobs fumbling the football on the opening drive does not seem to be the right solution.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, it serves the Giants right for
ReplyDelete1) saying they're from New York while actually playing in Jersey
and
2) for therefore associating with drivers from those two states. If you couldn't tell, I had a bit of a frustrating day on the road...
The Sing Off! Another one of those American Idealesk shows....
ReplyDeleteSeriously Luke, I hope Menudo reunites on that show. Yeah, that's right, folks. Two Ricky Martin references in the first 8 minutes of play today.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.
"Sleeveless and angry"
ReplyDelete/the same way I like my women
I grew up on the east coast. Let it out Anthony let it out! "Oh an inch of snow on the ground. Lets turn on our hazard lights drive 10 MPH and take up both lanes." Yes this seems pretty intelligent.
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or did Hakeem Nicks' profile photo look like it was a promo for the black version of "Avatar"?
ReplyDeleteNSYNC vs. Backstreet Boys vs. Menudo. vs. 98*. Hosted by Britney Spears and AC Slater! I am a genius and should be hired by NBC immediately.
ReplyDeleteDo you think Eli Manning intentionally threw that ball into Jeremiah Trotter's hands, only to have it deflect into his tight end's grasp?
ReplyDeleteHe is unstoppable, after all.
Actually Luke, I'd watch that show. I'd watch every part of it.
ReplyDeleteIf I had friends getting me Budweisers, in any way, shape or form, I must say that they probably wouldn't be on my Christmas card list...
ReplyDeleteIf you don't start cheering right now, Tom Coughlin will rape this kitten....
ReplyDeleteHe's just crazy enough to do it.
Just when you thought it was safe to watch an Old Navy commercial again...
ReplyDeleteHehe, Paula Creamer....Creamer? I barely even know 'er!
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you. I'll be here til the 3rd quarter. Tip your seamstresses...
ReplyDeleteI think Eli needs to start throwing it towards Eagles because the Giants can not catch the ball unless it is deflected.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAre you wearing your Citizen watch Anthony?
ReplyDelete"Eli's gotten so sophisticated as a quarterback"
ReplyDeleteIn fact, he quotes Charlotte Bronte in the huddle and sips Grand Marnier in a smoking jacket during post-game press conferences.
I am. It's why I'm unstoppable......Unless I'm tired or bored.
ReplyDeleteOooh!! A comment on the state of the economy! And Al Michaels still had to one-up Collinsworth with his quip about the weakness of the dollar. Touche, Michaels, touche.
ReplyDeleteHaha he took one in the face!
ReplyDeleteWhat they didn't show was the other pointy ball he took to his face before the game.......it was a rubberized shuttlecock. And no, that name is definitely NOT funny in any way.
ReplyDeleteI feel like whenever Michael Vick makes a good play, DMX should pop up on the jumbotron and start playing the Ruff Ryder's Anthem.
ReplyDeleteDead puppies on one.... Jail bate on two..... getting paid millions for this one play on three...hut hut hike.
ReplyDeleteReasons why Brian Westbrook isn't playing in this game....go. I'll start...
ReplyDeleteHe asked for Chianti but received Merlot during his pregame taping, resulting in what was scientifically defined as "icky taste buds"
Michael Vick tied him up thinking they would use more trick plays with him if Westbrook was out of the picture.
ReplyDeleteWestbrook tried on a Citizen Echo Drive watch thought he was unstoppable and tried to jump off the tallest building in NYC. Too bad he did not read the fine print.
ReplyDeleteHe was watching COPS before the game and his heart rate got too elevated.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid had Westbrook over for dinner last night and ate him!
ReplyDeleteHe woke up on Sunday with a giant pimple on his nose, and there is NO EFFING WAY that he can show his face looking like that. Fast Eddie won't ask him to the Sock Hop this Saturday!
ReplyDeleteWestbrook watched DeSean Jackson run and realized he wasn't that good anymore.
ReplyDeleteDeSean Jackson is pretty sick!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad NBC waited to run the Eli Manning "Unstoppable" commercial for the first time once the Giants went down 24-10.
ReplyDeleteAnybody else hangin out naked and drinking a 40? Yeah, me neither...
ReplyDeleteWestbrook and Stuart Scott had a long talk last night and realized they were both too hip for the NFL.
ReplyDeleteNaked but no 40. Really craving a Zima right about now!
ReplyDeleteJimmy Football hates condoms! That's why he's going to be paying child support until he's known as Old Man James Football! He also has AIDS! And crabs! And crabs with AIDS!
ReplyDeleteDonovan McNabb unfriended Westbrook on Facebook last night, leading to an awkward WTF moment in the locker room before the game. Michael Vick was seen ROTFL.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I'm ok with the PS3's new ad campaign...
ReplyDeleteBuy a PS3 or I'll kidnap your family and start banging your wife while you're videochatting with me!
Aw hell, I'd still buy it.
I am good with my N64 still.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reid is fat! Ok I feel better now.
ReplyDeleteGoldeneye is still a sick game.
ReplyDeleteDeSean Jackson is Chris Johnson-esque right now.
ReplyDeleteLets play a little game called What Plaxico Burress is thinking right now. Go ahead Anthony.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I didn't think it would hurt that badly...
ReplyDeleteSure DeSean Jackson is fast, but does he have a reckless disregard for his own well being and the laws of the state of New York?
ReplyDeleteWhat a pussy.
GREEN MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePlaxico Burress- "I knew they would choke without me."
ReplyDeleteSo I go to pick up dinner and come back after the half and all of a sudden we have an actual football game. Who would have thunk it?
ReplyDeleteDeSean Jackson is a beast! Two touchdown returns in one game. He is turning into Devin Hester of two seasons ago. Lets see if he fades away just as fast.
ReplyDeleteSo turns out Anthony has left me alone. This is the situation I was left in.
ReplyDeleteAnthony Drunk: Hello, NFL fans, welcome to Major League Football... sort of. The attendance today is 14 hundred and 12. Most of them left after that 3 touchdown quarter the Eagles put up. Take over Luke, I'm in the bag. [head hits desk]
Luke: Me?.....Fly ball... Caught.
Is there a reason why Chris Collinsworth is in love with Eli Mannings nuts? "Wow Eli Manning throws a perfect throw off his back foot here." Oh but wait his receiver had to dive for it and still was not able to catch the ball. No but you are right Chris it was a perfect pass by the unstoppable Eli Manning.
ReplyDeleteAnthony: Donavan Mcnabb gets the starting call today. We're told he matured a lot over the winter. Apparently he's bathing now. Congratulations, Donavan. As you know, Luke, Mcnabb's been working on a couple of new passing plays, the Eliminator and the Humilator, to complement his spiral, the Terminator.
ReplyDeleteLuke: I heard that.
Anthony: Dynamite drop-in, Luke. That broadcast school has really paid off.
This is how you can tell that I am getting lonely on this site. Hello? Hello?
ReplyDeleteWait what was that? (whisper) The wind....
Wow Eli just fumbled the ball right into Bradshaws hands who runs for 40 yards. Of course Collinsworth says. "Wow look at that heads up play by Eli. Tossing it right to his receiver while being taken down." IT WAS A FUMBLE STOP PRAISING HIM!
ReplyDeleteLuke: Hey Manningham, how many feet does it take to score a touchdown?
ReplyDeleteManningham: I don't know. How many?
Luke:Two!
Manningham: I don't get it.
Luke: Yeah neither do I but still you need two feet inbounds. Lets work on that.
Now under the two minute warning. The Eagles are up by one touchdown with only 1:31 to play and an onside kick coming up. What will happen?
ReplyDeleteA) Eagles recover and run out the clock.
B) Giants recover and Eli fucks up on the winning drive.
C) Giants recover and Eli gets lucky once again and everyone thinks he is the most amazing QB in the world. In reality he sucks and bathes in four leaf clovers and rabbits feet.
D) Coughlin gives that weird I am confused/upset/constipated facial expression for the rest of the game.
E) A and D.
The answer was E with a bit of B.
ReplyDeleteAlright ladies and Gents. This concludes our semi live post from The First Church of Football. It has been great hanging with all of you. Until next time does anyone else have anything to ad before we go?
ReplyDeleteSilence......
ReplyDelete