So, sitting here in a cafe in Boston, I've already had six guys named Sully tell me that my Broncos sweater made me look "like a fackin' homo" and that "Tawm Brady would Cahlton Fisk the Broncos with a Loueezville fackin' Sluggah."
After I figured out they were speaking English and trash-talking me at the same time, I calmly got up and left, but not before pointing to the scoreboard and giving them a real Mile High Salute.
Fackin' Sawx suck.
On that note, here are your (albeit abbreviated) lead-pipe, Bloodsport, guaranteed locks for Week 14 in the Lord's Sport...
Steelers at Browns
Really? Who loses to the Chiefs, Raiders, and Browns in the same season coming off a Super Bowl victory? It's basically the same team from last year. Wow.
Browns 13, Steelers 6
Saints at Falcons
After their thankful escape last week against the Redskins, Drew Brees and the Saints resort to more odd tactics to take down their division foes. Brees intentionally throws 12 interceptions in the first half, just so Robert Meachem can strip the ball and run for touchdowns. An odd tactic, yes, but when you're undefeated, you can afford to tempt fate once in a while.
Saints 31, Falcons 17
Lions at Ravens
Shit, I've got to start doing these faster. I'm just going to go with the word or phrase that's going to exemplify the matchup best. Here goes.
Stabb-ey
Ravens 20, Lions 13
Packers at Bears
Sulk-fest 2009
Packers 34, Bears 17
Seahawks at Texans
Poor alternative to contracting AIDS
Texans 27, Seahawks 10
Broncos at Colts
Manning Face
Broncos 29, Colts 26
Dolphins at Jaguars
Local TV blackout
Dolphins 21, Jaguars 17
Bills at Chiefs
Why?
Bills 8, Chiefs 6
Bengals at Vikings
I trust in Wrangler Cutoff Denim Shorts
Vikings 26, Bengals 10
Panthers at Patriots
Tom Brady just knocked up your mom...and he probably won't even call her again.
Patriots 35, Panthers 20
Jets at Bucs
A level of Dante's Hell: locked in a room with Rex Ryan while he eats nothing but P.F. Chang's.
Jets 10, Bucs 4
Rams at Titans
CHRIS JOHNSON SMASH!!!
Titans 24, Rams 7
Redskins at Raiders
Catching up on some missed episodes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta...
Redskins 1, Raiders 1/2
Chargers at Cowboys
Farts.
Chargers 30, Cowboys 17
Eagles at Giants
On-field cholesterol fountain
Eagles 18, Giants 17
Cardinals at 49ers
Crucifixion-enthusiasm
Cardinals 30, 49ers 20
Season Record: 82-42
You finally predicted a win for the Redskins =) Even if it is only by half a point.
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the deeper levels of Dante's Inferno.
ReplyDelete