Who's The Wider Receiver: The Softer Sides of Lovers Chad Ocho Cinco and Terrell Owens.

POFD is proud to present the fascinating love stories of Chad Ocho Cinco and Terrell Owens.  In the off-season, the two lovers share a one-bedroom studio apartment in a very liberal minded neighborhood.  Although they wanted to keep it a secret we have exclusive footage of the amazing adventures that took place.  They may be different in many respects, but share one heart for each other.  With the love they share they are able to pull through all the wacky shenanigans and missteps that took place in their exciting off-season life together.

This week on Who’s the Wider Receiver- We join our lovers at a trip to the zoo.

Season 1: Episode 2- The Zoo

Chad 85-  “Ok T.O. what animals are we going to see first?”

T.O.- “I want to go pet the puppies first.”

Chad 85: “We are at a god damn zoo you idiot, not a pet shop.” (Chad shakes his head)

T.O.- “Mike Vick told me he would be hanging out by the puppies today and I want a puppy.”

Chad 85- “Where on this map do you see any puppies?”

T.O. looked at the zoo map puzzled at the fact that Chad seemed to be right.  There were no puppies at the zoo.

T.O.- “Fine then I want to bring home a monkey.”

Chad 85- “ Wow you are lucky you have a great ass, because you are dumber then bricks.  This is a zoo, we just look at the animals.”

After another 45 minutes of explaining to T.O. what a zoo actually was, the couple finally took out the map together to help plan out what animals they were going to see that day.  Since it took so long explaining the incredibly difficult dynamics of a zoo they now only had time to see a few animal groups.  They chose to see bears, lions, and great apes.

Bears

Chad 85-  “Oh wow look at that, T.O. it’s a whole bear family” 

T.O was clapping his hands in excitement.

T.O- “That bear over there is funny looking.” (pointing to the corner of the bear complex)

Chad 85-  “You're right, T.O. it does look different then all the other bears, and it looks as if it is crying in the corner all by himself.”

T.O- “The plaque says that bear is a Jaayy Cutttler Bear.  Originally found in Colorado he was just introduced to these bears this year.”

Chad 85-  “Probably why he is all alone and nobody likes him. Come on, I am sick of looking at that pathetic looking thing and I believe he has poop all over himself.”

Lions

T.O.-“Why do they all look so sad Chad?”

Chad 85- “Last time I was here they looked like this as well.  I believe once they are put in the zoo the Lions just lose all hope as the year goes on.  Each year they put in new youthful lions, but in a short time they lose their spark and usually just lay around and do nothing to their full potential.”

T.O.-  “Maybe they need a new trainer.”

Chad 85- “That’s what they thought too, but it seems no matter who trains them the Lions seem to still be as pathetic as always.”

Great Apes

T.O.- “Wow what is that?  It is huge!”

A peculiar type of ape with its head down would not show its face.  The animal appeared to be sleeping.  Double pained bulletproof glass and an electric fence lay between them and IT.  The area in which it lived in was empty and it had barely enough room to roam around.  Chad went over to the plack with interest in what he was looking at.

Chad 85-  “The plack says it’s a Marshawnn Lyncchhh.  A predator originally found deep, deep, deep in the Amazon.  It can reach speeds of up to 25 miles per hour and kills its prey by trampling over them.”

T.O.-  “It looks so bored.  Lets give him something to play with.”

T.O. reached in his backpack and pulled out his Nerf football.  While no one was looking he threw the ball over the glass and fence and had it land right next to The Marshawn Lynch.

T.O.- “Look Chad he is waking up.”

The Marshawn Lynch looked over at the ball curiously.  It reached over towards the object and began to pick up the football.  Almost instinctively as soon as the ball touched its hands a sudden feeling struck over it.  Rage began to fill its eyes as it stood up looking towards T.O. and Chad.  A defining scream came directly from the terrifying animal.

The Marshawn Lynch- “Beasssssttttt Moddeeeeeeee!”

The Marshawn Lynch charged at the electric fence breaking through it almost immediately, hate and terror screaming from its eyes.  With ball in hand, it charged straight at T.O. and Chad.  As it made contact with the glass it seemed to crack (similar to the zombies at the end of I Am Legend. Except neither T.O. nor Chad Ocho Cinco have a grenade and are as badass as Will Smith).  The alarm sounded and quickly ten guards from towers came in and shot the beast with tranquilizer guns.  The Marshawn Lynch fought the drowsiness, but soon his muscles began to fail.  His charges towards the glass became weaker with each slam.  Beast Mode would soon wear off as the animal fell to the floor of his confined space.

T.O.-  “This is a sad place can we go get a puppy now?”

Chad 85-  “We will discuss it on the way home.”

On the way home to distract T.O. from his puppy idea Chad decided to stop and get an ice cream cone for his lover.  Ice cream was T.O.’s favorite.  It had been a long day and neither of them could wait to get home and fall asleep in each others arms.